13.2.2013 – “it’s finished” she said
Really? As it is ? I was surprised at first. It’s not unheard of for me to overpaint. I know the dangers and the how I fall into the trap. But this, this seemed to floor me.
There was a bigger realisation this time. A penny dropped.
The bravery doesn’t come from the choice of subject it comes from the exposure of self. This I knew. The exposure of self, of difference happens for me very early in the painting process. In drawing.
The more I paint the more I lose that self and move toward a generic moderate middle.
The work I admire always has the quality of brave difference and sense of authentic self. Very idiosyncratic and ends up saying something more universal.
The bit that sticks in my throat. To acknowledge that the work is done as it is, is to acknowledge that I can do this and further more it is natural.
Ground covered with second hand snow, ashtray grey skies. It is light when I leave work now.